


Splintered

by Macx



Series: Shards [2]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-12
Updated: 2011-05-12
Packaged: 2017-10-19 07:26:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/198398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macx/pseuds/Macx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things have changed and Kagome notices. She notices especially when she stumbles over Inuyasha and Miroku, revealing to her something she can't believe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Splintered

Things had changed.  
They still continued their journey to find Naraku, gathered Shikon shards when they tracked one down, and Inuyasha was still very much set on destroying their enemy, but something subliminal had started to evolve. Miroku watched his lover in the days of their search. Their friends and companions were around them, bantering, laughing, talking about meaningless things or something that was on their minds, but Inuyasha had started to pull away a little.  
He was more silent than usual, more introspective, almost calm and dispassionate at times, reminding Miroku more of Sesshoumaru than the hanyou himself. The volatile and sometimes horrible temper had smoothed out. Eruptions were infrequent and no longer as violent; they were barely more than an argument.  
Inuyasha kept away from him at night, which was only natural. Kagome, Sango and Shippo didn't know about their relationship, their closeness, and currently Miroku preferred it that way.  
Kagome was always close by, trying to talk to him, make him talk, or simply shared his silences as she was used to. Miroku saw no danger in her, wasn't jealous, and it was almost comforting to be back in this normalcy. Only now and then he missed the warmth at his side when he woke.  
At least when they managed to get a room or a place to sleep at night in one of the villages did he have Inuyasha close. Not under the blanket with him, but behind some screen or wall that separated the women from the men, and while neither did anything with it, Miroku enjoyed the closeness.  
Not to give them away, Miroku followed his usual pattern of flirting with every woman they met, though he no longer popped the question. He was charming, he was the perfect gentleman, and he got the usual looks from the others. Inuyasha just frowned, eyes darker than normal, and Miroku longed to tell him that he wasn't interested in them. All he could do was brush a hand over the smooth face, the long, silvery-white hair, smile reassuringly, when they were alone.

He stood before him, golden eyes framed by silver hair glowing in the light of the stars. Miroku looked up from where he lay on his bedroll. Tonight they had made camp outside the forest, near a river, and it had turned out to be a very nice evening. Inuyasha had sought some loneliness after their meal and soon they had fallen asleep.  
A well-known feeling coursed through him as he silently got up and followed the figure deeper into the forest.  
Inuyasha stopped and turned, meeting his eyes, and his expression was hard to interpret. Miroku felt resignation rise inside him as a familiar feeling that he had last experienced weeks ago made itself known. Inuyasha came to him at night again, silently requesting his services, and then they would part. No more, no less.  
He had no idea what to expect of his lover, but he thought he had a pretty good idea what Inuyasha expected of him.  
So it was back to square one.  
Walking over to the silent figure he ran a hand over the red-clothed chest and brushed their lips together. Before he could even think about whether he should just fall on his knees and do what was expected or try and at least get them comfortable, Inuyasha did something he had least expected.  
He threw his arms around the startled monk and held him tightly, burying his head against his neck and shoulder. Strong shoulders shook with emotions as clawed fingers buried into his kimono, and Miroku held on automatically, too shocked to do anything else.  
"Inuyasha?" he whispered.  
No tears fell, but the silent way of release was more scary than any tears anyway. Inuyasha sank down and Miroku followed him easily, holding the trembling form.  
"Inuyasha," he repeated softly, stroking over the thick hair. "What's wrong, koishii?"  
The white head dropped deeper and a soft moan left the hanyou's lips. "Everything," was the reply after a while, soft and tremulous.  
Miroku cupped the smooth face and forced his lover to look up. The pain and desperation in those hauntingly beautiful eyes were horrifying. Inuyasha was taking all of this rather more harshly than he had ever expected. Sure, they couldn't act like they had in the healer's hut, but a night here or there would have made up for the daily distance they had to keep. Still, even that hadn't been an option since resuming their journey because Inuyasha had pulled away from him.  
"Love me," the hanyou pleaded.  
"I already do," Miroku answered, features soft and tender.  
"Show me."  
He pressed their lips together, then teased Inuyasha's with his tongue until they opened. Skillfully, he evaded the sharp canines, drawing soft moans out of his lover. Hand brushed over him and Miroku gave a startled gasp when those nimble fingers slipped inside his kimono's folds and over his skin.  
Clothes were shed as they kissed, licked and nipped at each other. Inuyasha arched into his touch and kisses, pushing himself against his human lover, and Miroku put a bit more pressure and force behind his caresses and teasing. Inuyasha countered with heated strokes and little bites of his own, giving a rumbling growl of contentment.  
Hard and hot and very bothered, Miroku fumbled for the oil, but Inuyasha's hand clamped over his wrist, holding it down. Amber eyes glowed.  
“No.”  
“No? You just said…”  
“You don’t understand." Suddenly there was the insecurity again. "I want you… want to feel you… “ Inuyasha whispered.  
And then it clicked.  “You mean you want me to…?”  
The hanyou nodded. "You… enjoy it. I want you to show me… what it feels like…"  
Miroku was amazed and stunned, humbled and honored. He reached up with his free, left hand and stroked over the hanyou's cheek.  
"I will show you, Inuyasha."  
He reached for the little jar he had brought along in his pocket and coated his hands with the herbal oil, then started to stroke Inuyasha’s hard length again, smiling at the hoarse gasp. Distracting his lover this way he slid one finger between the parted legs and over the sensitive area behind. Inuyasha was accustomed to this touch, so he didn’t react, but when Miroku increased his pressure, startled golden eyes flew open.  
“Shhh, koishii, it’s okay. Relax, I won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.  Just tell me immediately if it doesn’t feel good, will you?”  
Inuyasha nodded and bucked as Miroku bent down to take his lover’s hardness into his mouth, sucking gently. It caused another moan – and his finger slipped inside his lover’s body. He felt Inuyasha stiffen involuntary at the intrusion, and he stopped, giving him time to adjust to the unknown feeling while he continued teasing his lover with his tongue. When Inuyasha relaxed he took the chance to move his finger carefully until he … a harsh cry and a jerking of hips told him precisely that he had found what he had been looking for – his lover’s secret spot of pleasure. Applying more pressure and a soft massage had Inuyasha sobbing harshly and writhe in his arms in mere minutes. Smiling Miroku cautiously added a second finger.

Inuyasha felt himself tense around the unfamiliar intrusion, but then the pleasure of the things Miroku was doing to him won. Arching into his lover's touch, moaning, he somehow felt Miroku’s finger slide deeper into him – and then he cried out involuntarily, a jolt of pure unadulterated ecstasy running through his body all of a sudden.  
“What are you doing?” he breathed.  
“There’s a spot inside the male body that, when stimulated, provides a man with more pleasure than one would think. I just introduced you to yours. Again?”  
“Yess … “ Inuyasha just hissed and bucked when his lover brushed over that place again.  
“So that’s what makes you enjoy it so much?”  
“Oh yes… and having you inside me increases it tenfold.”  
And with that Miroku bent down to claim a hungry kiss, swallowing every sob and whimper Inuyasha made while he was preparing him carefully.

Miroku saw Inuyasha reacting rather sensuously to his touches, and was surprised to find his oh so collected lover could become quite vocal, too  
 When he finally found that the hanyou was ready he pulled his lover on his lap, leaning in for a long and gentle kiss, hearing the other man moan deeply in his throat as he slid into the tight heat for the first time.  
It seemed to last an eternity, but the expression on Inuyasha’s face was worth every second of it.  Waiting for his lover to get used to the new sensation of having a man inside of him, Miroku watched Inuyasha intensely, looking for any sign of discomfort or even pain. But there was only intense concentration. Then his lover pulled him down into a gentle kiss, asking him wordlessly to move.

   
Inuyasha dug his claws into the dirt, gasping with wonder and joy when he felt Miroku move inside him, every thrust carefully measured as to hit that sensitive spot. It sent jolts of pleasure through his body, turned his spine into molten lava and made him cry and whimper with every move. If this was what his lover was feeling every time… he could get easily addicted to it!  
“Miroku… “  
He couldn’t help the scream that formed inside his throat, exploding like his world exploded into a climax as forcefully as every volcano. Miroku swallowed it, silencing him, not to alert their companions.

Miroku looked at his lover, studied the sensuous stretch of lean body against the blanket of their robes, the play of muscles under the deceptively soft skin, and he couldn't but trace the outline of a curve of ribs with one hand. Inuyasha made a soft, satisfied sound in the back of his throat, eyes half-lidded, glowing in the light of the moon and stars. His hair lay spilled out over the ground, just like he himself lay lazily underneath his lover.  
Clawed fingers reached up and pulled Miroku into a kiss, which was freely given. Their tongue entwined and Miroku glided against the warmth under his touch, unable to get enough of this wonderful man.  
"I love you," he whispered.  
Inuyasha's face lit up and he tenderly nipped at the monk's fingers that were now outlining his lips.  
They lay together for a moment longer and Miroku wished they could have all night, all day… days in a row. He wanted what they had had at Aiko's village, but he knew it was a dream. Their reality was much harsher and it had a purpose. His survival, Naraku's death…  
"We should tell them, koishii. Soon."  
Inuyasha grunted.  
"Inuyasha… dogs are pack animals. You travel in a pack, but right now you're all alone. It hurts you. I can see that."  
Amber eyes turned away from him. "Keh!"  
Miroku smiled and turned the other's face back to look at him. "Koishii…?"  
Inuyasha sighed and took his hand, holding it. "I want to, Miroku, but…"  
"No more buts."  
Another sigh. "When the time's right."  
But would there ever be a right time?

* * *

A youkai with a Shikon shard in her possession interrupted. She had been terrorizing a village, demanding sacrifices of blood and obedience, and the scared people had given her their youngest men. Inuyasha had been disgusted with the creature that had sucked not only the blood but also the life out of them, leaving nothing but mummified husks behind.  
They had a medium hard time getting the thing to drop dead and Inuyasha bore the evidence of its resistance. There was blood on his kimono and a deep slash mark across his chest was more painful than serious. Miroku tried not to worry too much; at least not more than he usually did. Kagome cleaned the wound, both she and Inuyasha bickering back and forth as usual.  
"I'm fine!" the hanyou insisted, pulling at his clothes.  
Kagome glowered at him, sitting back on her haunches. "Suit yourself! I was only trying to be helpful!"  
"My body's more resistant than yours. I've told you so a hundred times," he muttered.  
She put her medical supplies away and gave him a last glare. "Sorry for caring!"  
Sango sighed and stirred the mixture of vegetables and rice, handing a bowl filled with their dinner to Miroku. He took it with a smile and ate silently as the friendly argument continued, finally ending with Inuyasha leaving.  
Kagome muttered something under her breath and sat down beside them. "Why do I even care?"  
"He's a friend," Sango replied with a fine smile and handed her a bowl, too.  
"A stubborn friend with an attitude problem," Miroku added, grinning.  
Kagome had to smile despite her – by now evaporating – anger. "Yes, kinda. I just wish he would let us help. He doesn't have to be such an…"  
"Ass?" Miroku said, smiling slightly. "Idiot? Stubborn bastard?"  
Kagome chuckled. "I guess that's just him. All of the above and more."  
They continued their meal, talking about everything but Inuyasha.

* * *

The villagers had been thankful for the destruction of the youkai and they had offered shelter for the group for the night. It was readily accepted, Kagome sighing in bliss as she could bathe and then crawl into a clean bed that wasn't on the naked earth. She, Sango and Shippo were sharing a room. Miroku and Inuyasha had the second one. Of Inuyasha there was no sign for the rest of the day and while the monk wanted to go out and find his lover, he knew it would draw too many suspicious looks. Usually it was Kagome who went after their hanyou and she did it this time, too.  
When she came back, she looked drawn between anger and frustration.  
"Still mad?" Miroku probed.  
"He's pissy," she muttered.  
He shrugged. "It's just one of those days. Leave him, Kagome. He'll be back to his old self tomorrow."  
At least he hoped so.

Miroku was dozing when he heard and felt the soft steps, the vibrations on the floor that alerted him to someone approaching. His eyes opened to the sight of a silver-haired, slender figure crawling under the blanket with him.  
Silent.  
No words spoken.  
The wonderful amber eyes were hidden by the thick bangs hanging into his forehead. Miroku's arms came around his lover as Inuyasha moved close to him, head resting partly on his shoulder, partly on his chest, one arm curled around his waist. Clawed fingers were splayed against his ribcage.  
A soft sigh escaped the half-demon as Miroku brushed a hand over his long hair, then hugged him even closer.  
Still no words.  
Inuyasha was tired, exhausted from the fight even though he would never tell anyone. His injuries hurt, Miroku knew, despite his claims that his body could take more than a human's. Sure, it could, but there was a limit, and when the fight was over, it hurt just the same. He carefully, unobtrusively examined the body in his arms and found no major injuries. Lots of bruises and Inuyasha was probably sore, but nothing life-threatening.  
It felt so wonderfully normal to have his lover close. He had missed the hanyou's body pressed to his, the warmth he radiated, the arms wrapped around his waist. They had been so close and at ease in the healer's home, but now they were forced to live like before – apart. Inuyasha took it badly. He had grown so quiet, so detached, so thoughtful, and the others blamed it on Naraku escaping them again and again.  
If they only knew, Miroku mused.  
Inuyasha nuzzled his neck, burying even closer. Miroku smiled and stroked over the thick hair, teasing the dog ears till he heard a little snort and felt canines graze his skin.  
"Love you," he murmured.  
Inuyasha replied with a tightening of his embrace.  
Both men just lay there in the near-darkness, close to each together, holding each other, until they fell asleep.

* * *

Inuyasha woke to the distinct feeling of being watched. His eyes snapped open and from his very comfortable position, his head pillowed on Miroku's chest, he was almost on eye-level with the small kitsune currently crouched at the other side of the room. In his line of sight. Shippo's gaze was fixed on the two lovers, his head tilted in surprise and amazement.  
The hanyou remained where he was. He didn't move, didn't blush, didn't jump back, stutter in embarrassment, try to explain what he was doing here, curled around another man.  
This was Miroku. His lover, his partner, everything to him. He wasn't embarrassed of the man, of their relationship, of their love. It was up to Shippo what happened next.  
Amber eyes held those of the little kitsune.  
Suddenly Shippo smiled. It was a happy smile, an accepting smile, and he rose from his crouch, leaving the hut.  
Inuyasha regarded the closed door for a moment, then his eyes slid shut again, sinking back into a doze as he listened to Miroku's strong heart beat, his breathing, felt the warmth that was his lover.

* * *

"He knows?" Miroku asked evenly as he washed himself in the bathing room for the men.  
Inuyasha nodded. Like Miroku he was semi-naked, both men taking advantage of the opportunity to wash the grime of the travel off their bodies. Who knew when they had the luxury of a bathing house the next time? Kagome and Sango were already enjoying their baths. Shippo was with them and now and then there was the laughter of the women and the child to be heard.  
"He didn't seem disturbed by it?"  
Inuyasha looked up, his hair damp, his upper body exposed to Miroku's appreciating gaze. "No, actually he smiled."  
"Then we'll be fine."  
Inuyasha leaned in and pressed their lips together, his tongue brushing over Miroku's until they opened. The monk's hands ran over the flat plains of the muscular chest, drawing a little breathy moan.  
"Yes, we'll be fine," Inuyasha murmured, nipping at the lips he had just kissed.  
Miroku grinned. "Only if you stop groping me, love, because otherwise the whole village will know."  
Inuyasha smiled cheekily. "I thought you were the one responsible for the groping part…"  
"Oh, I still am. And believe me, I plan to make the most of it at the next opportunity."  
"I hold you to that."  
With a last kiss, the men parted and Miroku was hard pressed not to go back into that strong embrace and the world be damned. Still, he held back with an effort and curbed his desires. From Inuyasha's expression, he was just as interested, but the hanyou forcefully turned away and got dressed.

* * *

Something had changed about Inuyasha. Everyone could see it, and hear it. Gone were the outbreaks of hanyou temper. Gone were the episodes of almost child-like pouting, followed by periods of sulking. Gone was the anger that sometimes got the better of him. Instead, Inuyasha had turned into an almost quiet, calm individual, spending the time the others made up camp sitting somewhere, apparently lost in thought. There were no more arguments over menial things and while Kagome was glad she didn't have to worry about high blood pressure at her young age, she was also worried about her friend.  
Whatever was going on, it was monumental.  
But what?

*

The journey had almost been pleasant lately. One more shard had been found, almost by accident, and they had had little trouble getting it. A temple had protected the shard and the priest had handed it to Kagome after he had realized what she was, much to everyone's surprise. Only Inuyasha had been mildly disappointed that there had been no fight.  
A full day's journey away from the temple with no new leads as to where to next, they had finally made camp.  
Miroku was leaning against a tree and Inuyasha had snuggled up against him, had interlaced his left hand with Miroku's right. He felt the softness of the cloth covering the kazaana, the smooth surface of the prayer beads that kept the deadly force at bay, and the warmth of his lover's skin. His eyes fixed on the texture of the different materials and he ran an exploring finger along the row of beads. Miroku said no word, just let him do whatever it was Inuyasha was doing as he explored each finger, each joint.  
His lover's curse. His lover's death. Handed down from his grandfather because of Naraku.  
Inuyasha felt tiny tremors racing through his lover and looked up into the violet eyes, shocked to see the fear in there. The barely restrained terror. Miroku feared the kazaana, was terrified of its power. He had learned to use it to fight demons, but ultimately it would kill him. It had cracked before, he risked his life each time he opened the beads and let the power run free, and one day…  
Inuyasha drew that deadly hand up and kissed the covered palm, drawing a little gasp from his lover. Golden eyes glowed softly in the starlight and a smile stretched Inuyasha's lips. He couldn't take the fear away, but he could make it bearable. He wanted Miroku to forget for a while, to enjoy the here and now. He laid their clasped hands between their bodies as he pillowed his head on the slender shoulders. Fingers interlaced he inhaled the scent of his lover, relaxing in that moment of peace after a battle, just before a new one. He hadn't lowered his guard, was still listening for an enemy approaching, but he savored those stolen moments.  
Miroku stroked his hair in long, tender moves, then buried his face in the silvery white mass and curled his arm around Inuyasha's back.  
There was a soft gasp and his ears swiveled, eyes following the sound, and he discovered a shadow between the trees.  
Kagome.  
His senses had registered her as a friend, hadn't alerted him to an enemy, and now she stood partially hidden in the forest, wide eyes looking at the two men. Inuyasha tensed imperceptibly, but strangely enough Miroku remained completely calm. The hanyou didn't move a muscle to detach himself from the warmth that was his lover. Like with Shippo, he had nothing to hide. But unlike Shippo, Kagome felt something for him. There was a different bond between them.  
Amber eyes regarded the young woman levelly. It was her move next, her decision what to do. There was no mistaking what the two men were doing. This wasn't the picture of companions sitting together in the night; these were two people who had grown intimately close.  
Kagome was frozen for a second longer, then whirled around and stalked away. Inuyasha watched her shadow in the darkness until she had been swallowed by the foliage. Miroku's left hand carded through his hair.  
"Now what?" he asked softly.  
Inuyasha was silent. Now what? Why should they think that way? Why would it be up to them to explain or hide? He had never hidden, had always faced adversaries head-on, and he had never evaded a confrontation.  
"She has to decide," was his only answer.  
He heard and felt Miroku sigh. "The balance has shifted," the monk murmured.  
Yes, for all of them.

* * *

Sango couldn't say she wasn't disappointed by the change in their dynamics. It wasn't so much a change in relationships as in balance. Miroku growing close to Inuyasha had upset what had developed between the hanyou and Kagome, and while Sango had always wondered how such two different people could find a way to love and live together, she had decided to sit back and watch. Kagome, while the reincarnation of Kikyo, was not of their world. She belonged into a different time, and it showed. She was drawn between those two worlds, between her family and her attraction to Inuyasha and this life here. A simple, but very dangerous life. A life she knew only from legends. In her time, there were no more demons to fight. Either they had all been exterminated in the past or they had gone into hiding as humanity grew and spread, overrunning their home land.  
Still, she had hoped. She had dreamed.  
Now she lay curled up on her blanket, tears running down her face. Kirara sat beside her, purring softly, nuzzling the distraught girl.  
Sango had to confess that she had had hopes to find a common base with Miroku. She liked the monk, even though his come-ons and constant amorous attempts had put her nerves to a test. She understood his need to father a son, but since he hit on every woman they met, she had decided that if there was to be a relationship between them, it wouldn't be founded on that.  
Throughout their travels she had gotten to know Miroku, though. She had seen through the mask of the smiling con man, the tricky monk, the lecherous womanizer. She had seen the pain hiding in the dark eyes as they gazed at his kazaana. She had witnessed the danger and power of the curse, had seen him hurt and suffering, and she had seen how he rebuilt the mask of indifference, of the man who enjoyed life to the fullest without any regard for the tact society demanded when it came to courting.  
Miroku was far from the person they saw him portray. Just like Inuyasha had changed so much. There were worlds between the hanyou she had met and the man who now sought out another man's company, who had learned to love. Maybe she would have had a chance with Miroku before, but she knew she was out of the game now. Kagome would have to accept that sooner or later, too.  
Looking at the other woman, Sango saw that she had cried herself to sleep. Neither Miroku nor Inuyasha had returned so far, and Shippo lay curled up on his own mat, but his eyes were open. She looked at him and saw the knowledge in there. The little kitsune had known before them.  
"Are you angry at them?" he asked, breaking the silence.  
"No. Maybe disappointed that they hid it."  
He sat up, folding his legs. "We all have things to hide."  
"True." Sango looked at their sleeping companion. "But sometimes hiding the truth brings only more pain."

* * *

Morning came and with it, Miroku returned to the camp. His face was solemn and when Sango looked at him, there was a cautious expression in those normally vibrantly laughing eyes. Kagome didn't deign him with even a greeting and just walked off as he entered the clearing.  
A sigh escaped the dark-haired man's lips.  
"She's taking it badly," Sango remarked and stepped toward him.  
"I knew she would."  
"She feels something for him."  
A nod.  
"So do you."  
His features softened and a gentle warmth was in his eyes. "Yes. I'm sorry, Sango."  
She was slightly perplexed. "You don't have to apologize to me, Miroku."  
"Sango…" he started.  
She smiled slightly. "It's much safer around you now, hm?"  
He blinked. "What?"  
"No more chasing women? No more groping?"  
He closed the distance between them. "Why do you think so?" Miroku asked, pouring a lot of charm into his voice.  
"Because I think that despite your ways, despite your talk, you can be monogamous with the right partner. And Inuyasha'll rip your head off if you don't," she added with a smirk.  
He chuckled slightly and reached for her hand, holding it between his. "It's not like I can't appreciate your beauty anymore, Sango. I always have and always will."  
And he had felt something for her throughout the months and years they had traveled together. Maybe, if not for this incredible chance with Inuyasha, they might have developed the flirting into something different, something more lasting. But as it was, he had made his choice and he would stay loyal to his chosen partner.  
"It's your health," she teased and pulled her hand out of his grasp.  
Miroku gave her a fond look and nodded, his eyes straying to where Kagome had walked off to. It had been where he and Inuyasha had spent the night and somehow the monk knew that the last word hadn't been spoken between the hanyou and the miko.

* * *

Kagome had spent the night with little sleep and a lot of thinking. She couldn't accept what she had seen that night, the closeness between the two men, the way Inuyasha had held Miroku's hand, had snuggled up to him as if…  
She inhaled sharply.  
No!  
It couldn't be true. Inuyasha loved her. At least he felt something for her and she had always been aware of it. It was like some invisible bond that drew them together. It couldn't be that he had found what was meant for them with Miroku; with a man!  
But she had seen the proof last night.  
The way they lay together, completely relaxed, at ease, at peace with themselves….  
Kagome stopped at a tree and found she had arrived at the scene of her discovery. Her eyes traveled up and discovered Inuyasha sitting on a low branch. Amber eyes met hers and he jumped down.  
"Kagome. Good morning," he greeted her calmly.  
"Is this some kind of payback?" Kagome blurted without a greeting of her own.  
"For what?"  
"That I never responded to your blundering advances!"  
Inuyasha sighed. "No."  
"Then why?"  
"Because Miroku and I discovered we share something special."  
"So do we! At least I thought so."  
"We still do."  
"He's a man!"  
"I know that, Kagome."  
She shook her head in anger and frustration. "You loved Kikyo! You said I reminded her of you. I thought…"  
"Kikyo died over fifty years ago. The shell that walks this earth is empty. She's no more. As for my feelings toward you, yes, maybe there was something. Kagome, I still consider you a friend, but not a mate."  
Mate? It sounded like… no!  
"You can't do this to me! I love you!" Tears glistened in her eyes as her emotions boiled to the surface.  
Inuyasha regarded her sadly. "No, you love the difference in me to the men you know. I'm the adventure you wanted. This is an adventure. One day, it'll be over and you'll go home."  
"No, that's not true!"  
But in a way he had hit a nerve. She compared Inuyasha to the boys she had met at home. They were boring, normal… and he was exciting. A half demon. He lived in a wondrous world she had never dreamed of, and for a sixteen-year old girl it was like an adventure. She had spent a year here, drifting back and forth between her time and his, and it was always like the very first time.  
"It is. There is no chance for us, Kagome. You can't live in my world without missing your family each and every day. I can't live in yours. I'm a hanyou. I don't belong in that time. My place is here."  
She was still shaking her head, denial in every fiber of her being.  
"And would you bear my child?" Inuyasha drove his point home. "I'm half demon. My child would be of that blood, too. Where would it grow up? Would your time accept it?"  
"Miroku can't give you children at all!" she spat.  
A sad smile graced his lips. "No, but he gave me a lot already."  
"What's that? Sex? Well, I'm not the girl to throw herself at the first guy! So you got yourself someone else to get rid of the instinct, right? Someone who'll die eventually!"  
A part of Kagome was horrified by those words, by the anger and fury she felt. Another noticed that despite her yelling at him, Inuyasha remained even and calm.  
Inuyasha sighed. "Miroku and I are aware of that," he replied. "He will die if we can't defeat Naraku. Or we'll die in battle before that."  
"This isn't real!" Kagome whispered. "You're not sleeping with a man! It's not normal!"  
"Well, I'm not normal," the hanyou said, shrugging. "I'm hanyou. This is my world, my realm. We live by different laws and taking a mate has nothing to do with gender or blood line. Some youkai don't have a defined gender." At her unwavering, angry expression he walked toward her. "Kagome..."  
"No! I won't accept it! It's… you just want to get me angry, make me decide…"  
He tilted his head, ears twitching slightly. "Decide what? If you want to stay here or go home? If maybe you're in love with Kouga?"  
Her dark eyes flared and suddenly he smiled. She hated that smile, so filled with understanding. There was no sarcasm there, no flaring temper. This wasn't the Inuyasha she had met over a year ago.  
"You do, right? You feel something for him despite pity."  
"Shut up!"  
"And you're afraid to face that feeling. But with him you have the same decision to make as with me. He's youkai. Your children would be hanyou, like me. And you would leave your world to stay here…"  
"Shut up!"  
"Kagome…"  
"SIT!"  
The force of the command had him flat on his stomach, knocking the wind out of him for a moment. Kagome was breathing hard, hands clenched into fists. A part of her howled in denial at what she had done. She knew how powerful the necklace was, how it controlled the hanyou. Another part was cheering 'Take that'.  
Closing his eyes, he lay there for a full five seconds, then pushed himself up. His head hung between his shoulders and his eyes were still closed, the face hidden underneath the veil of silvery hair. There was no outbreak of vicious cursing, no harsh words, no glaring and snarling and cussing around.  
"It always was your last weapon," Inuyasha said softly, then sat back on his haunches. "Is that how you expected our relationship to be, Kagome?"  
Amber eyes held wide brown ones.  
"You always in control? That's no relationship. That's slavery."  
She just stared at him and Inuyasha rose slowly. They looked at each other and he sighed sadly.  
"You did."  
"No…" she protested weakly.  
But the hanyou just shook his head.

Inuyasha gazed at the girl he had met such a long time ago, who had freed him from the magical arrow sealing him to a tree. She had woken him from fifty years of suspended animation. Yes, they hadn't seen eye to eye, he would have killed her had she not been given control over him with the necklace he was forced to wear.  
But things had changed since then. They had changed. Their relationship had progressed, but not to the point where he would consider her an intimate companion. Not any more. He loved her as a friend, but he loved Miroku as a partner. Intimately.  
"I'm sorry, Kagome," he said softly.  
Light suddenly spilled from the wooden beads and fake fangs. Each part of the necklace seemed to glow by itself, then the light streaked away – and with it the necklace. It manifested again on the ground, at Inuyasha's feet. Surprise was written on Inuyasha's features as he picked it up, staring at the beads.  
It had been magically sealed by Kaede.  
Kagome's defense and control.  
Somehow he had almost forgotten that he had to wear it each and every day, night and day. Now it was no more.  
He looked up and into the pale face of the girl. Clawed fingers closed over the beads in a fist and he turned around, leaving the shocked Kagome where she was.

* * *

He sat cross-legged in the middle of a field of grass. It was high enough to reach up to his thighs, weaving gently in the breeze. Trees grew in abandon among the tall blades and the sound of birds was a background noise to the wind. One hand still clutched the necklace and Tetsuseiga lay on his lap.  
Miroku approached the silent figure and sank down beside his lover. Inuyasha's eyes were hidden underneath his long bangs again and the visible part of his face was almost expressionless.  
"It opened," he finally said. "Just like that."  
Miroku looked at the beads. He knew little of how his lover had come to wear the magical necklace, only that it allowed Kagome to wield a manner of control over him should his temper get the better of him. Maybe that was also the key to its locking mechanism.  
"You no longer need it," he replied calmly.  
Golden eyes rose from their study of the beads and met his. Miroku's smiled.  
"Tell me why it was put on you."  
"That old hag Kaede used magic to bind me with it. I… I was attacking Kagome." Inuyasha almost sighed. "It was just after she had freed me from Kikyo's spell, had removed the arrow, and I wanted the jewel. I threatened to kill her if she wouldn't hand it over."  
"So Kaede restrained you."  
"Yes."  
"And ever since Kagome used the magic embedded in this necklace to curb your temper."  
A nod.  
"Like I said, you no longer need it."  
Inuyasha frowned, looking puzzled.  
"You are no longer out of control, koishii," Miroku told him, smiling gently. "You grew up."  
The hanyou blinked, then gazed at the necklace again.  
"For the past weeks you've been in control, you didn't let your temper draw you into fights of pride against pride. You no longer let youkai get the better of you with taunts and teasing, and you're… very much aware of yourself."  
Inuyasha let his head fall forward, his hair acting like a veil again. Miroku let him ponder his words, content in just sitting with his lover.  
"She left?" Inuyasha finally asked.  
"Yes. Sango and Kirara took her to the well. Sango will be back."  
The hanyou sighed. "I'm sorry."  
"What for?"  
"Hurting her like that."  
Miroku smiled. Yes, Inuyasha had truly grown up, had changed.  
"She will have to either accept what has happened or turn her back on this world."  
Inuyasha nodded slowly. Miroku reached out and clasped the fist clutching the necklace. The hanyou looked up.  
"Let her make up her own mind, koishii. We have still have a journey… a goal."  
Inuyasha opened his fist and wrapped the fingers holding the once magical necklace around Miroku's right hand. The beads clicked softly against each other. The hanyou pulled gently and Miroku leaned forward, following the wordless invitation. Their lips met briefly in a whisper of a touch. Clothes rustled as they melted together, and Inuyasha wormed a hand underneath Miroku's kimono to place it onto the warm skin of his ribs.  
They simply lay there, Inuyasha's head on his lover's chest, one hand inside the many folds, and Miroku played with the long hair and the softly furred ears. Inuyasha would pick up Sango's scent when she returned and until then, they were safe here. There was no danger to this place and these woods. It was a welcome respite.

* * *

Kagome sat on the bed in her room, legs drawn up to her chest, staring out the window. It had been two weeks now. Two weeks at home, in school, with her so normal friends, with her family, and the world of this time. It was so different. Where before she had been looking forward to going through the well and meet the others, she now passed by the ancient hole in the ground and went to her room to do her homework and study. At night she lay awake a long time before finally falling asleep, thinking how different the air smelled, the grass looked, the moon shone.  
But she couldn't find it in her to return.  
Her grandfather had been rather confused about her prolonged stay. She had never been home for such a length of time. Her mother had inquired several times as to what had happened, but she refused to talk about it. It wasn't a topic to be discussed with one's parents or grandparents.  
You went through the same with Kikyo, stupid, she told herself. You went back home, you sulked and pouted, and you came to accept the fact that your soul's former incarnation was still someone dear to Inuyasha. That he would always try and do right by her, protect her, while also protecting Kagome. She had decided back then that going into the other time was her destiny, that they needed her, that Inuyasha needed her. She had started to change him. Kagome wanted to see Inuyasha happy, and Kikyo was part of that happiness, as murderous and ambiguous as she was, the miko had been and always would be part of his life.  
Now she wasn't competing against another woman. Now it was a man; a friend. Someone she had thought wanted Sango.  
She couldn't go back now.  
The hurt from seeing Inuyasha with Miroku, from hearing the confession of love from the hanyou, sat too deep.  
Had she been dreaming of the impossible?  
Was Inuyasha right? Were they too different?  
Part of her yelled in confusion, argued that they were meant for each other; another part had retreated to think about his words. She loved her family, liked her life here, and to be trapped in his time and world for the rest of her life… it made her stomach clench. The well was a way to return if things grew too much. What if she no longer could, what if she had a family there? Children?  
With Inuyasha?  
Kagome sighed deeply and fell back onto the mattress, looking at the ceiling.  
Where would they live? In a hut with a field? With a hole in the ground as a sanitary place? Or in a cave? Inuyasha was partly dog, like Kouga was a wolf. Where had he lived before he had been sealed? Would he even want to settle down? Could he settle down?  
Inuyasha was different. Different from everything and everyone she had ever known. He was half demon, he was strong and powerful, fast and resilient… and he had fallen in love with a man. With Miroku.  
She remembered Sango's words when the demon huntress had dropped her off at the well. "In their lives, there's little happiness that lasts. What they have together could be momentary because the next fight might kill them. Their bond might hurt you, but don't let that pain turn into hatred."  
She couldn't hate Inuyasha. Never. She was just… hurt. Her feelings, her whole self. He hadn't chosen another woman; he had chosen Miroku.

* * *

It took Kagome six weeks to walk up to the well again and enter the other time. Six weeks in which she was a normal girl, went to school, decided her friends were all childish, and in which her mother and grandfather were there for her when she needed to talk. She could never talk about the true reason for her subdued moods. Neither would understand, but in a way it helped.  
In those weeks she came to several conclusions and realizations. One was that the crush she had had was just that; a crush. She had been fascinated by the hanyou, by his difference. Inuyasha was right in that. Of course there had been feelings. Deep feelings – at least for a fifteen year old school girl. He had been her first date, boyfriend and whatnot. He had been everything the romance novels and paperbacks wrote about: adventurous, exotic, dangerous, brash… and sexy. Kagome smiled to herself.  
But all of it had been momentary. Their friendship had grown deeper, but never into the relationship she had dreamed of. She wasn't the princess, he wasn't the magical prince. He was a living, breathing half demon with desires and needs and wants, with pain and wishes and dreams of his own. She could never dream of understanding him completely. She might end up like Kikyo, trying to make him human. Inuyasha was part human, but he would never be completely human. He was a hanyou. She loved him as a friend, as a hanyou. She would always be his best friend.  
So now she stood outside the old well, looked around and breathed in the fresh air, a smile on her lips. It felt good to be back. All she had to do now was find Inuyasha and the others.  
Kagome set out toward the village close by to talk to Kaede. Maybe the old woman knew something. She seemed to know so much anyway.

* * *

Kaede looked at her from her one good eye, her face as non-committal as usual. The old woman sat on the porch of her hut and Kagome wondered what she really knew, if she had heard about the developments… she probably had.  
"So you came back," Kaede remarked.  
Yes, she had heard.  
Kagome nodded.  
"With hatred or acceptance?"  
"I can't hate them," Kagome answered honestly.  
"But you can be disappointed and feel cast aside. It's a dangerous emotion in battle and can hurt or kill someone, Kagome."  
She was aware of that, but the six weeks she had spent away from this place had cleared her head more than she would have thought at first. She knew she still liked Inuyasha and she wanted to be his friend. She had to accept his relationship with Miroku, maybe watch them touch each other in a way she had hoped to have with the hanyou.  
"I won't let them down. They're my friends."  
"Friends can be rivals."  
Kagome's face took on a determined expression. "You think I would sacrifice Miroku to get Inuyasha back?"  
Kaede tilted her head. "Would you?"  
"No!"  
A smile split the old woman's face. "Good."  
She reached inside her robes and pulled out the necklace she had put on Inuyasha so long ago. Kagome gave her a surprised look.  
"He came to me and returned it, asked me to keep it till you came back."  
"What…?"  
"I felt its seal break when it happened, Kagome. I knew then that something profound had changed, but not what exactly. That the hanyou would find his balance in the monk came as a surprise, but not as a shock. There's no telling where affection and love collide, where they will form a bond so tight not even death would part."  
Kagome opened her mouth to say something, then shut it again. A bond? Well, yes, love was a bond.  
"Take it, girl, and find your friends."  
"But… he doesn't have to wear it any longer!" she protested.  
"No, he doesn't."  
"So why should I return it to him?"  
Kaede smiled. "Because he requested it so."  
Kagome took the wooden beads, holding the necklace in her hands. "You know where they are?" she wanted to know.  
"Recovering from a fight against a powerful youkai in an abandoned farm house not far from here."  
Fear coursed through her. "Was anyone hurt? Are they okay?"  
"Bruises heal, girl. But remember, tonight is the new moon. Tread carefully."  
And with that the old woman rose and walked back into her home. Kagome stood rooted to the spot for a second longer, then turned and walked down the road. So Inuyasha would be human tonight and it made him more vulnerable than anything else.

* * *

Inuyasha's ears twitched, then he sniffed the air. A smile split his features and Miroku looked up from where he was changing Sango's bandage. In the past she would have refused his help due to the fact that the injury was on the inside of her thigh, but Miroku's sexual overtures had come to an end. He treated the wound without trying to grope her or feel her up, and Inuyasha had to grin at Sango's still slightly suspicious expression. She had been bitten by their latest opponent's minion, but it wasn't poisoned and she was healing nicely thanks to some salve Kaede had left them.  
"What is it?" Miroku asked softly.  
Inuyasha sniffed again, ears twitching. "She's come back!" he finally exclaimed.  
And with that Inuyasha was out the door. Miroku blinked, then smiled. He became aware of Sango's sharp look and gave her an even wider smile.  
"Kagome's back," he said.  
Sango closed her robes and pushed herself up. "Great! About time, too."  
Miroku shrugged. "She needed time."  
"I hope she didn't come back to say good-bye."  
His face was solemn. "Yes."  
With that he helped her outside.

* * *

Kagome looked at the golden-eyed, white haired young man in the red kimono and she had to smile at the familiarity of the picture. Unruly, long hair, the Tetsuseiga at his hip, the pointed ears turning toward her.  
"Hello, Inuyasha," she said softly. "Kaede said you wanted this returned."  
She held out the necklace as the hanyou approached. Clawed fingers took it gently from her open palm.  
"I'm happy you're back," he said softly and his eyes told her he was. They were shining with happiness. "We missed you."  
And she had missed them. All of them. Without thinking she hugged him, felt the strong arms around her, and closed her eyes briefly to enjoy the moment. He didn't push her away, just returned the gesture.  
"I'm sorry," she whispered as she stepped back. "I shouldn't have yelled at you… said all those things. I was just…"  
"Angry and disappointed?"  
A nod.  
Inuyasha shrugged. "It was your right."  
Kagome looked over his shoulder and discovered Sango, Shippo and… Miroku. The dark-haired man was watching them with a gentle smile on his lips.  
"I needed some time to get everything back in perspective," she said, looking at all of them. "Will you have me back?"  
Inuyasha's mouth curled again. "You were never gone," was all he said and Kagome felt something fall off her chest.  
"You're part of this team," Sango announced.  
Shippo nodded eagerly.  
Miroku joined his lover and bowed slightly at her.  
"Thank you," he said softly.  
Kagome gave him a smile that was neither false nor faked. "I want Inuyasha to be happy," she said, looking at the dark-haired man. "He is happy with you. Thank you, Miroku."  
The monk bowed his head again, a faint smile in his eyes. "I will never betray the trust you put in me, Kagome-chan."

They set out again, talking, laughing and bickering, as normal as ever. Kaede stood at the edge of the village, watching them with a faint frown on her forehead. Her eyes were on the monk and the hanyou, who acted as if there was nothing between them. She knew there was, something still evolving, something strong, something that would be tested and strengthened.  
"Safe journey," she murmured, then returned to her tasks.

* * *

The transformation into his human self was as fascinating as every new moon. White hair turned black, amber eyes dark brown, and the pointed ears disappeared, making way for human ones. The long claws retracted and blunt nails remained. More vulnerable than ever, Inuyasha settled down to wait out the moon phase. It was a sign of his trust in his companions that he no longer left them. Especially his trust in their abilities to defend him – even if he wouldn't be caught dead confessing that he might need their help.  
Miroku just sat with him and Kagome watched the hesitant dance as they moved closer together until finally Inuyasha settled down against one dark-clad shoulder. She and Sango retreated to their own room throughout the night and when Kagome glanced back, she caught a look of Miroku tenderly running his hands through the black hair. Then she closed the door.

*

They left the farm house when the women had closed the door and everything had quieted down. There was a small shed next to the building and Miroku led his human lover into the warmth. It was rare that they were safe enough in that time of Inuyasha's 'moon phase' that they could risk exposing themselves so much, but tonight they were. Removing the kimono jacket, Miroku kissed and licked his way along the smooth column of his lover's neck, then lightly bit at one blunt ear. Inuyasha inhaled sharply, hands digging into his shoulders. So far, in their time together, there had never been a moment to enjoy the new moon for them, both human, no dangerous claws or sharp teeth that might harm involuntarily, and Miroku planned to make the most of it.  
He looked into the dark eyes, smiling at the need and hunger he read in there, then pressed their lips together. It was strange to not feel the canines against his tongue as he explored his lover's mouth, so unexpected to have blunt fingertips caress him. But the body he was unwrapping out of the kimono was still the same. Still the beautiful sight he remembered.  
He lost himself in the feel and taste of his lover and when Inuyasha wrapped his legs around him, back arching as he slid inside the tight heat, he whispered his name. It was slow, gentle love-making, drawn out and tender. Neither was in a rush and Miroku longed to make it last, to explore this changed body, to taste and experience it all. There was no holding back for the hanyou this time. In this human form he couldn't injure his lover and his blunt nails raked over the muscular chest, teasing Miroku as much as the monk teased him. It was a new experience for them both and Miroku was awed by the sight of the black hair spilled over the blanket, the hazed, brown eyes, and the flushed, sweaty skin.  
"Love you," he murmured. "So much."  
When Inuyasha arched his back and neck, sobbed out his name in a harsh cry of completion, he joined him, buried deep inside, arms wrapped around him.

Miroku stroked over the thick, black hair, carding his hands through it like a comb, marveling at the dark mass. As fascinating as the silvery white was, the blackness was even more intriguing.  
Inuyasha made a contented noise, close to a purr, and he smiled at the sated man. The brown eyes were half closed, watching him with an expression of bliss and love.  
"It's either the ears of the hair with you, eh?" Inuyasha teased, voice heavy with satisfaction.  
"Love the ears," Miroku replied. "As for the hair… it's just… so new." Again he stroked through the black strands.  
"Loses its newness after a while," came the lazy reply. "I'm not too fond of it myself."  
He caressed the warm skin, felt the relaxed muscles play underneath his touch. "I am. It's a part of you. We all have our different sides, koishii."  
"What's yours?"  
Miroku grinned. "You find out."  
Inuyasha pulled him closer, licking over the throat and Miroku shuddered slightly as blunt teeth bit him tenderly.  
"Oh, I will."  
Settling down beside his lover, the monk listened to the sounds of the night outside, enjoyed the closeness, and when his body started to shiver in the cool air, Inuyasha wrapped their clothes around them. It was comfortable, cozy, intimate, and everything Miroku wanted from this relationship.  
Closeness. Trust. Love.  
And happiness.

* * *

Miroku woke to the sound of birds and the first rays of the rising sun slanting through the broken roof of the shed. He yawned and stretched, his kimono covering him like a blanket. His eyes fell on the already dressed figure sitting at his side, and he smiled. Inuyasha was watching him openly, eyes running over his mostly uncovered form. Miroku had no qualms letting Inuyasha see what he had seen and touched and kissed so many times before.  
"Good morning," he greeted the hanyou, amber eyes meeting his gaze warmly.  
Inuyasha leaned down and kissed him in response, their tongues meeting gently and leisurely. He carded his hands into the once again silvery hair, enjoying the contact.  
"The others?" Miroku murmured as they parted.  
"Still sleeping. It's very early."  
The monk made a little sound and initiated another kiss, which was freely given. He got up eventually, dressing in his robes under the gaze of his lover, who looked like he rather preferred Miroku undressed than clothed. Well, Miroku would have enjoyed another roll in the hay, but they were planning to leave this morning. He didn't want to start the first day Kagome was back among the group with a delay because of their lovemaking.  
Inuyasha pulled him against his body as they prepared to leave, nipping at his lower lip. "I love you," he said softly.  
Miroku smiled, warmed, and stroked a hand over the thick hair. What he felt he couldn't put into adequate words.  
"Let's go," he whispered.  
They had Shikon shards to find and there had been rumors about at least two of them at a Lord's house near-by.  
Sango, Shippo and Kagome greeted them, smiling, already packed to go.  
It was a nice day to travel.


End file.
